It’s a drag making New Year’s resolutions, isn’t it? It’s always the same vague promises of losing weight, saving money and being a better person.
So I’ve taken the liberty of making some up for my husband. You’re welcome MrM.
- “I will not buy anymore Bags for Life”. These cost 10p each, so we have about £147 worth of bags for life in the cupboard, near the front door and in the car. So honestly, my lovely spouse, there really is no need to buy three more every time you go shopping.
- “I will put empty bottles into the mystery green box outside the house that says ‘recycling’ on the side.”
- “I will not announce that there is no petrol in the tank on a morning when MrsM is driving and running late.”
- “I must get written permission from my wife before purchasing a spice of any description. I now understand that there is a kilogramme of peppercorns that we must use before I buy any more.”
- “Any random socks I leave on the floor must be paired before I abandon them.”
- “I will stop eschewing my wife’s offer of ironed shirts. I will stop promising to do it myself and then turning up to work looking like an 80-year-old pug.”
- “I will babysit whenever there is a Levellers gig within 200 miles of our house”.
- “I will laugh at my wife’s jokes. Including what she thinks are funny lists”.
Happy new year and hope to see you on the other side!